Two W.E.A.K Dudes

Featured

theme, new servers and whatnot

Posted by The Dark Knight on Friday, September 19th, 2008

Okay, so some of you might have noticed our comments being swallowed (only two apparently). Thing is, Node Six transferred us to one of their new servers, and threw in a fresh new theme as a bonus, custom pimped just for our royal weakness. We were worried our site would be down for ages, but [...]

visit to the doctor

Posted by The Emrys on Monday, September 20th, 2010

once again the title makes me feel like am writing a comprehension essay in primary school. but be that as it may, i finally lumbered over to the doc this weekend after my usual ways couldn’t get me a way out of a visit to the doc.

now, i normally don’t do doctors, i’ll either self diagnose (yeah yeah yeah, i know its wrong but do i look like i give a rat’s fart) or go to some vet uncle of mine. i’l then proceed to give him a list of my symptoms before he then normally correctly diagnoses me. this has perfectly worked for me for the last many years. i shall have you know that i have nothing against doctors, heck my uncle is a doctor, though admittedly he doctors cows and goats but who cares, at least i dont.

so anyway, last week i just wasn’t feeling right, the self diagnosis didn’t seem to be working and my uncle was in some deep village poking into goats’ rear ends and diagnosing them, hence my visit to who (what) passes for the family doctor on saturday. this is one chap who prescribe meds to last an entire month just to treat the cold. if you are a sleeping pills junkie, he’s your guy. so since i knew it was more than the cold on my case and i didn’t want meds to last me a few months, the first thing i told him as soon as he was done with diagnosise was that i didn’t want to do any meds because i would never complete the dose. he did look pretty disappointed as he looked at his pen like he just couldn’t believe it had been deprived of the opportunity to scribble down 3 months worth of prescription.

anyway, even after finding out there was really nothing wrong with me despite all the malaria symptoms, we settled on injections (just to be safe according to him). i really don’t mind injections as long as its not this particular doc administering them and lucky for me his very cute nursing assistant was on hand to give me my first taste of injections in years. not that i felt it anyway, because one second i was lost in her very long and soft fingers massaging the spot she was going to inject and the next she was telling me she was done. done?? what??? i just couldn’t believe she was in and out so fast i barely felt her do her thing. it felt good though, i just didn’t expect it to be a five second job. so when she told me to be there at midday the next day, i was there 30 minutes early. and this time she seemed to enjoy it too because she did take her time massaging the spot with those fingers before doing the deed. anyway yesterday after our session, i tell her i can only come in the morning on monday seeing as i had to be at work, so she told me to come in at 8.30am.

and so this morning, i head over to the clinic before heading to work. i walk in and she’s not seated at her spot, but i think nothing of it and head straight for the injection room with a spring in my step, i mean after all there’s nothing as good as a butt cheek massage before heading off to work, right?

imagine my horror when i find that its the doctor and not the cute nurse that was going to inject me. and the syringe he was holding, my goodness!!!! am sure it was the normal syringe but in his hands it looked like he was holding one of those injections they use on cows and he didn’t seem like the type that massages the spot first, not that i would have agreed to it. anyway the sight of that huge syringe in his hand, coupled with the grim look on his face was enough for me. my teeth began chattering while i broke into a cold sweat. this only made things worse because somewhere in the depths of my mind i heard him say that it seemed like i was getting worse and i might need to have two injections. the thought of being injected twice with that syringe was giving me daylight nightmares and my butt cheeks were quite in agreement coz i could feel them freeze and sending a message upwards, like “dude, yo in this alone, aint no way we are part of this!!!” stupid things, did they think they were goin to grow sudden feet and run off my body.

suffice to say i was scared shitless but in a very confused and broken way (heck, i couldn’t even understand half of what i was saying) i was able to convince him that my butt couldn’t take anymore of the injections. i think i told him it was swollen or something and meds would be the better option. at the mention of meds, the grim look disappeared off his face and once again he was back to the jovial chap i know when prescribing meds. and now i have with me a months worth of tabs to pop. if only the darn nurse had told me she comes in at 9, urghhhhh!!!

moral of the story: if this particular doc has no cute nurses to do the injecting for him, am sticking to self diagnosis and my vet of an uncle

you know it makes no sense. am outta here!!!

Posted in: General W.E.A.K.ness.