Two W.E.A.K Dudes

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theme, new servers and whatnot

Posted by The Dark Knight on Friday, September 19th, 2008

Okay, so some of you might have noticed our comments being swallowed (only two apparently). Thing is, Node Six transferred us to one of their new servers, and threw in a fresh new theme as a bonus, custom pimped just for our royal weakness. We were worried our site would be down for ages, but [...]

this next smooth joint goes out to all the….in the house

Posted by The Emrys on Wednesday, March 17th, 2010

ok as you can see, i am still not good with titles and that sort of rot. and in that regard just so you know, this joint right here nigga, this joint right here..it aint dedicated to anyone at all.

first off my shout outs today go to my good luck, you know who you are and you rock. cyber high five, babe!!!

so DK left me here all by myself the cheeky bastard, mbu he is taking a hiatus. who does that to their bosom buddy? oh, scratch that we cant really be bosom buddies if i never let him anywhere near my bosom and never ever attempt to be near his. so again i ask, who does that to his buddy?? take a web hiatus, *sigh* but being the good friend that i am, i promised to keep the place busy. of course all i really meant to say to him is that i would try and post my katogo of stories once or twice during the 3 months he is internet celibating (is that a real word…if not i claim it :D). and so here we go…..

on monday we woke up to the news that in the near future bars just might be closing by 10pm. now am not going into the merits and de-merits of that, so many pips already have done that. one even went as far as breaking it down financially for the government, mbu how it would affect them. no, i won’t give you the link so you can sod off. anyway am here with a suggestion. i shall henceforth be throwing house parties, but, and here is the catch, carry your own drinks. yes sleek and crew and everyone else they will be throwing out of bars after 10pm my place will be open for y’all. but please please, come with your own soda and yo own juice. what? what is that you say?? beer?? shya. the most i’ll provide is sweet pepsi so you can beat the breathalyser test. you know how orange juice and sodas can be, getting you all high and ish. so, DK is the organizer, contact him!!

of late their is an influx of what DK would term as sentient bums in the city. i swear everywhere i turn there’s a bum that has a life of its own, very independent of the owner. the owner can be going about their business as usual and this bum is also doing its own thing. i could swear sometimes its like its trying to tell you something….its that independent!!! and as it happens, this one time i was heading to work during a downpour and i saw one that made me gasp, choke on my gasping and then allow….all three i tell you. there was this chic holding this really huge umbrella over her head and it was doing a pretty impressive job of actually keeping her dry as she made her way along kampala road. well that was until i noticed her wet bum. now the bum was the only wet part of her. and it was so alive and independent of her that it was not even under the umbrella. it seemed so oblivious to the presence of the umbrella. well, either that or it knew it was to sentient to fit into the umbrella covered area. whatever the case, it was on its own doing its own thing while the owner also protected what she could from the rain. i swallowed hard!!

now, as some of you know, my friend fat bizzy has brought untold misery to my life and last week was no exception. i went to play soccer and gave it a go as always. it was a blast and i even went away with a nearly dislocated jaw from a right footed shot to my chin from fat bizzy. not that i was complaining, coz at that point it didn’t really hurt much, but boy was i about to find out. that night a certain lovely girl that had been promising burgers for over a month decides she wanted to do it there and then….the burger silly anyway so am there chilling, nursing my jaw and beginning to feel the pain only for her to call and say, “its now or never!” within minutes i was at javas cafe trying to rub my jaw into submission for the task at hand. but my jaw was having non of it. i insisted and went ahead to order for one. i felt it snap at the first bite and i froze. i just couldn’t go on, i thought about packing it but figured i would get home and just go through the same routine. then just at that time along came fat bizzy. he saw us, stumbled over heavily and stopped at our table while mumbling his greetings. he then looked at my miserable face, looked at the burger in front of me. back and forth he went for about a minute and a half until it dawned onto the thick skulled one. i couldn’t bite. with a very diabolical laugh he lunged at the burger and was at it in seconds…the fool. i am devising ways of making him pay, ideas are very welcome, thank you!

recently i happened to stumble into a meeting with some chaps discussing this and that and they of course asked me for my opinion once in a while, but for the most part i was just dozing off as i waited for the reason i was there to wrap up the meeting so we could talk. turns out i was not the only one all over this chic called sleep, my reason for being there was also stealing glances at her. and so it transpired that after one of my numerous but very short escapades with sleep, i awoke to a very rancid smell in the room. turns out someone had let loose. and so began my quest to find out the culprit. all of sudden the other chap flirting with sleep was so awake, looking around with those shady, sneaky eyes and sweating profusely. i knew there and then i had my guy. with in a few minutes he had ended the meeting and called me outside. and the first thing he says(with a sheepish smile) is, and i quote “i think we need to get an AC up in this place coz it gets so hot and all these smells from outside are nasty!!” needless to say i died.

last night the kasubi tombs were set ablaze by an (un)known person, depending on who you listen to. listening to some of the conspiracy theories my reaction has ranged from pure amazement at the genius of whoever is coming up with that particular theory to utter bafflement at the sheer stupidity of some of them. anyway we got to talking about it last night with DK and we concluded that if your nose is small or long or both, you are currently an endangered species in kampala just in case riots break out. so a little advice from yours truly, google is your friend. am currently googling how to flatten my nose and make it even bigger. i have so far gotten a few tips ranging from flattening it with one single blow of the hammer to just cutting it off. some of the other tips like surgery and rubbing it in a certain way just dont seem macho enough for me so i downright ignored them. gosh am i so mean to be looking at the funny side of things in all this.

anyway thats it for today, i do have work you know and seeing as yo not paying for this am out like vapors. next time i’ll be telling you about my uncle.

peace out, you know it makes no sense whatsoever

Posted in: International W.E.A.K.ness.