things and thangs
today it hit me that we had not blogged in over a month…very not like us, and so i decided to break this one and half months old self imposed blogging virginity. yeah i said it. shoot me!
so anyway onto the things and thangs…..
nowadays a lot of businesses and individuals are advertising their services or whatever you would call whatever it is they are offering. take for example, the rolex making chap near my home. this chap is the reason i never invite my rolex eating buddies home, he will embarrass me. i keep imagining am out chillin with my buddies and talk shifts to whose place has the baddest and worst rolex chap….what will i say. i don’t want to have the label of “worst rolex guy is in his hood”. it will tarnish my image and reputation. anyway back to the point of this story, this chap is the only rolex supplier in that forsaken place(and every single minute spent yearning for a rolex while am home, is also spent asking God to send us another rolex fella) but he still carries out some form of advertising if you can call it that. somewhere on his stand are the words(and number) ” kam hier to mustafa’s woteli 4 tha best chapati, sumbusa and of kos rolex meking for the nu millennium” No wonder he sucks at his job….and how did he even manage to spell millennium right!! but the one ad that has absolutely done it for me, was the one i saw on one of them long distance trucks driven by somalis. at the back, both sides and the front were the words “we accept rejected wives”. I died….totally!!
recently, two of my cousins were graduating and seeing as they are siblings, it was decided after much deliberation within their family, that they would have a joint grad party instead of two separate ones….don’t look at me like that… i wasn’t there during those deliberations. i just went for the food and drinks. anyway as is wont to be, the older generation was there en mass. these chaps kept stressing me and another cousin of mine to introduce our girlfriends to them and blah blah blah. we smiled our way out of the questions till we got dragged before our granny. soon as she asks the dreaded girlfriend question, my cousin tired of all the stress just blurts out “am gay!” cue dumbfounded looks all around!! on seeing the looks on their faces, he warms up to his now favorite subject and assures them if they continue to associate with him, they just might become liable to seven years in jail pending the outcome of the new (anti)gay bill debate. my phone has not stopped ringing from relatives dying to find out whether its true. at this rate am thinkin of diverting all my calls to his line, that way he shocks them some more by insisting it is true. and to think the man has a string of babes!!
in the just concluded Africa cup of Nations, two things happened that had be ROTFLMAO. one was when there was a closeup of the ref’s hind side during a game. dude had the biggest insect i have seen chilling on his bum. for real. it looked like it was on a chiller grazing on his bum and the commentators were merciless about it all, they couldn’t stop laughing.
the second thing was when i noticed that during the first 3 matches the fourth official was using wooden cardboards to indicate substitutions and time added on. however, during the fourth and fifth matches, am at home watching and i notice that they were using the electronic boards sanctioned by fifa. cue me texting some chap and asking him whether they just had no batteries to run the damn boards during the first 3 games or they were just saving up the little they had for further in the tournament. this was his reply “the rebels had taken the sh*t hostage”. according to him, the rebels having failed to get any hostages from the togo debacle, had decided to atleast take the electronic boards hostage and negotiate with the government.needless to say, i cried…from all the laughing!!!
after events of last night, i am totally and utterly depressed. can i just say that arsenal are fake, matter of fact, what i really want to say is that arsenal are @#$*&$@! and @#$*&$@! and @#$*&$@! and no, i don’t feel any better.
go away….am out!
February 1st, 2010 at 3:53 pm
LOL @ your cousin. Now, what were you doing paying close attention to a ref’s ass?
February 1st, 2010 at 10:50 pm
dude…you been storing all your humorous stories for one and a half months…am dying here…HA HA..no am ROFLMAO!
February 2nd, 2010 at 10:11 am
and so all of this was about arsenal losing…?
even the butt grazing insect…? lol loved it!
February 2nd, 2010 at 11:15 am
even while writing this, i was ROFLMAO
February 2nd, 2010 at 12:04 pm
Yes, Arsenal is fake. And the rejected wives thing is still killing me!
Where have you been anyway?
February 2nd, 2010 at 1:24 pm
lol at your cousin…..
February 2nd, 2010 at 2:27 pm
IN ARSENE WE TRUST!!!
February 3rd, 2010 at 2:18 am
me i am handing your cousin in…
As for Arsenal..hun we just let them win..
February 3rd, 2010 at 7:08 pm
you were saying?
February 4th, 2010 at 8:15 am
Yo, you need to go away more often if you always come back with this kind of bang!
I vote blogger come-back of the year!
Mbu “We accept rejected wives.” LOL!
February 4th, 2010 at 7:05 pm
Its been long since i laughed till tears welled in my eyes!
ROFLMAO!
And yeah Arsenal is fake two times over!!
February 6th, 2010 at 4:46 pm
your cousin is a genius… that must have been a classic-never-to-forget kind of scene…
(((the emrys))) they will play better… now do you feel better?
February 7th, 2010 at 1:53 pm
@sybella i cant feel better knowing chelsea is goin to undress us tonite, its painful
February 9th, 2010 at 2:55 am
let’s hope all they accept is rejected wives