Self Indulgence
So someone took me out for pork today. They’d promised that once a project we were working on for them was done, they’d buy me pork. So today their held their side of the bargain, and man, vas it tres magnifique. Oh la la!
Sacre bleu!
I’m a guy, I love my food. And I love my pork more. It’s a well known fact that my cooking skills are… well, lacking. And that’s an understatement. So, as one of my favourite authors says, if you get a chance to sleep or eat, sleep or eat. I mostly ignore the sleeping part, but the eating…
Thing is, I keep asking myself where all the food goes. Coz however much I eat, I don’t gain an ounce! Tall and thin, that’s me. Wait, that’s not politically correct. I’m vertically unchallenged and horizontally deficient. A hot dame once passed me and blew me away. Har har har!!
*ahem*
So yeah, pork ribs, at Steers. Man, those things are… hard to describe. You need to try them out. There is a certain je ne sais qoui about them. First bite, and your usual african enzymes in all their slowness are in shock thinking you’ve died and gone to heaven. Anti they’re used to dodo and mukene. They begin rejoicing and jubilating mbu the suffering has ended. Until the brain and the eyes tell them to stop being stupid and get to work. When they finally realise the truth, well, … typical african riot.
So, eyes glazed, I focused on the incredibly important task set before me, for which I, only I, was deemed worthy.
As William (bless his wee lil ‘eart) believes, for everything, there is a time and a purpose, and the time to eat is a time to eat.
… wait, where’s this going again? Oh yeah. So afterwards, as I was licking my fingers n stuff, I noticed a couple of dames across two different tables smiling at me, and I was thinking, “yeaah… wassuuuuup, you want somma dis right ‘ere? I’s hearing you babes, I’s feeling you too”. I smiled right back, and their smiles grew wider. I was on!
So I hit the bathroom to pimp myself up, wash my fingers and organise my beard, all sixteen and a half hairs of it. I looked in the mirror, and gave myself one of my dazzling, blindness inducing, 78-dental formula smiles.
That’s when I noticed the tomato sauce (it IS NOT ketchup, we’re in uganda, dang it!) spread ridiculously on my chin and a dark piece of pork thingie gloriously resplendent across my two front teeth.
*sigh*
Misery.
February 8th, 2008 at 12:03 am
Dude you think that is bad? Man, there was this time in school(mixed school)..water tap, everyone is washing their fork or spoon..rinse the mouth u know..so i spot new girl..decide to be cool with this turn..so when i spin round and smile..she smiles back and laughs..im excited, whip out my hanky clean my mouth and guess wat..i had avocado on my upper lip tending towards my nostril!! U got it good son, u got it good!!
Sokies..Jas were you at?????
February 8th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
but u man…try the ribs at spurs…steers is sooooooooooo out!
well, misery a side, u musta been err…eye catching..for them to take note. so not all is lost.
joshi, u just forged that story LOL
February 8th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
Jas be here Josh, thinking i shouldn’t have taken that valium! Dentist prepping me for dental surgery this afternoon hence the overload of valium in my system. but have fun while i’m out. it won’t last.
DK: hillarious story that was. obviously bad things don’t happen to me alone. did you atleast talk to the girls after? say something like “you think that was hillarious? wait till you see this crazy routine i do for selected guests at my place. call me, i might sneak you onto the guest list.”
Tandra, i can so see Joshi with that avocado…LOL.
February 8th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
No, they couldn’t have been that mean to smile some more when you smiled back.