Embalu
Good morning blogren, have you bled any good stones or is it still early?? Haven’t been here in a long time, I feel like a thieving intruder. Frankly I was even shocked I could still log in. This will officially be my first post since DK packed up and moved over to Rogue King. Shall we miss him? I hear you ask. Damn right we shall but we shall keep the party going.
So her we go. Recently a friend and I decided out of the blue to just go and get circumcised. Yes you read right, circumcised. It felt like a stoned decision, you know the type you make when you are skunk stoned, except that we weren’t. We were completely sober and to make it even more fun we decided to do this in Mbarara, and so off went, riding into the sunset. By the way, we rode on a bus not on horses, silly 
Like true Kampalans, when we got to mbra we immediately set about acting like we owned the place, never mind that we couldn’t speak the language. Anyway we were so psyched up for the operation we did not sleep that whole night. We stayed up talking excitedly about the whole thing even though we hadn’t bothered to read up on it let alone bother to find out how it was done. All we wanted was to get it over and done with and jump onto the next bus to kampala. Little did we know, I tells ya!!!
Come D-day and we were the first persons there. For starters we didn’t even know we were supposed to have made appointments and also have our blood tested. Long story short, we were able to sweet talk the female doctor on duty into having our blood tested as well as pushing us higher onto the appointment list.
Finally, it was 9am and all the other guys with appointments began to filter into the waiting room. Apparently we had to undergo some sort of counselling before we were cut. We had to go through lessons on how to keep our hygiene, how long we should wait before having sex, riding bicycles, playing football and the like. This is when all the fun started.
Some chap after hearing about the pain involved just couldn’t help it anymore and began farting up a storm the near equal of a snowstorm while sweating a rainstorm. unfortunately for me he was right next to me, and between having to endure his snowstorm and making sure I wasn’t drenched in his sweat storm, I did not hear a single word the counselor spoke. To make matters even more interesting, I was tasked with calming this chap up. Well, I did try my best but the rate at which he was stuttering out of fear was too much for me, I almost shouted out “REMIX!!!” Anyway, my friend and I were finally able to calm the chap down and we got to talking. We found out he was a boda boda rider who intended to get back to work that very afternoon. The mental picture of that had me literally rolling on the floor dying of laughter. I just couldn’t imagine this master of aforementioned indelicate arts having to ride his boda boda. Anyhow, we continued with our awkward social intercourse (them in lunyakore, us in luganda) as we kept our eyes glued on the operation room doors. Because there were two doctors, they were able to cut two people at a go which meant my friend and I pretty much got cut at the same time.
No one ever tells you about the pain or the swelling or the fact that when you attempt to walk, its like you grew an extra 3 pairs of gonads. My goodness that was the most excruciating 2 days of pain that you simply could not scratch away. Do not even get me started on night time. Any male should know what am on about
Let be known that I have had to re-learn how to walk these past few weeks, and while I would love to sit here and continue to regale you with my circumcision stories, I really have a job to get back to, so until I get paid am outta here.
You know it makes no sense!!
February 20th, 2012 at 1:42 pm
ROFL!!! The poor boda man….. hahaha
February 21st, 2012 at 7:39 pm
Man, I know what you mean! Amusing, though, that you chose to do it in ‘the land that flows with milk and honey’ if I got the phrase right.
March 1st, 2012 at 10:17 am
No, it does not make sense! Doesn’t have to! LOL!
What a fitting return to the blog.
March 9th, 2012 at 8:41 pm
you are a very brave man!