Two W.E.A.K Dudes

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theme, new servers and whatnot

Posted by The Dark Knight on Friday, September 19th, 2008

Okay, so some of you might have noticed our comments being swallowed (only two apparently). Thing is, Node Six transferred us to one of their new servers, and threw in a fresh new theme as a bonus, custom pimped just for our royal weakness. We were worried our site would be down for ages, but [...]

samson

Posted by The Emrys on Monday, February 7th, 2011

i was (and still am) worried about coming back to this blog after a long hiatus. i didn’t/don’t think i still have it in me to be funny online, seeing as am finding it even harder to be funny in real life nowadays. even i don’t find my own jokes funny anymore and yet i persist in telling them, urghhh!!!!!!

i digress. so yeah, i had a somewhat funny weekend and thankfully this time it was not me attempting to be funny. that honor went to a chap called samson. see samson is one person who you will look at and just burst out laughing for no apparent reason. its not that he looks funny or anything like that. if anything, he’s quite a dapper and serious fellow. the kind that works in a bank all day and then walks into the bar for a drink at 6pm swinging his car keys, a car that is forever in the garage.

but samson is absolute gold to hang around. always have you in stitches. i guess thats why when most of us who know him take one look at him, we are instantly on laughter’s death bed. still doesn’t explain why i burst out laughing the very first time i met him. maybe its something to do with his ears. it is a difficult job describing samson’s ears. lets just say that describing them as asymmetrical would be a great injustice to asymmetry, and don’t let me start on his head. as for the nose, well its truly a breathing apparatus. you could be forgiven for thinking, it was just stitched onto his face and whoever did the stitch job did a lousy job. the apparatus was left hanging without any proper direction in which to point. suffice to say, sometimes i have dreams of him, waking up in the morning and just plumping his nose onto his face without any further adjustments, before running out to work. and i thought i had a nose.

and yet, thats not why we find samson funny. no, the reason we absolutely love hanging out with him is because he is bound to do something funny, especially when he is drunk. and for that reason, he never buys his own drinks, not when we are around. i would need to write an entire book to tell you about all the funny escapades we have been through courtesy of samson. however, i shall only regale you with one that happened this weekend.

we happened to get invited to a private party somewhere in town even though as usual non of us knew the host but rather friends to friends of the host, not that that was goin to stop us, after all, we had official invites. also, the reason we were invited is because they knew we would come along with quite a number of girls to liven up the party. with free drinks promised, we were not missing this for the world, especially seeing as we were in the company of a one samson who as always was left to swinging his car keys in the back seat of another car as we headed out to the party. we had however, forgotten to mention to samson that sandals were not allowed at the party mostly because non of us had noticed him wearing sandals for the first time since early last year when some chic noticed his toes and said they reminded her of cassava shoots.

anyway to cut the long story short, by the time we got to the venue, samson was already on a high and hence he wanted to be the “boss”. so he confidently staggered to the entrance only to be told by this big burly bouncer twice his size that unless he got on a pair of shoes, there was no way he was going in. so we decided to talk to the bouncer on his behalf but even our collective charm-and it was quite a lot of 1k notes ) - could not get him in. samson in his state then decides to try and barge his way through, much to the chagrin of the bouncer who just pushed him onto the ground. the girls found this funny. samson did not, hence his decision to let his right hook try and do the talking for him. i say try, because as soon samson’s hand flew towards the bouncer’s face, he realized what an ass his hand could be and how much trouble it could get itself and him into. and so with his left hand he tried to pull, claw and hold it back. i have never in my life seen one hand try to stop the other hand from doin something stupid. normally, the second hand is bound to join in on the stupidity and even offer help and support. but not samson’s hands. no sir. i think they have it in for each other, something to do with one having much better looking nails than the other due to his admittedly poor nail biting skills.

and so samson watched on in horror as one hand tried to claw the other back, while the other was so determined to carry on being daft. to his relief, the pulling and clawing sort of worked and his right hand only landed onto the shoulder of the bouncer. (though to this time i still insist it was mostly because the bouncer was so huge, samson’s hand would never have reached his face or even done any damage)

one or two of us tried to dissipate the awkward moment with some uncomfortable laughter, and much to our and mostly samson’s relief, the burly man found it funny and eventually let samson in.

moral of the story: its always fun to hang out with samson and see some of the silly stuff most of his body parts get up to. take for example his nose when he…..oh crap, gotta get back to work!!

am outta here!! you know it makes no sense!!!

Posted in: General W.E.A.K.ness.