today it hit me that we had not blogged in over a month…very not like us, and so i decided to break this one and half months old self imposed blogging virginity. yeah i said it. shoot me!
so anyway onto the things and thangs…..
nowadays a lot of businesses and individuals are advertising their services or whatever you would call whatever it is they are offering. take for example, the rolex making chap near my home. this chap is the reason i never invite my rolex eating buddies home, he will embarrass me. i keep imagining am out chillin with my buddies and talk shifts to whose place has the baddest and worst rolex chap….what will i say. i don’t want to have the label of “worst rolex guy is in his hood”. it will tarnish my image and reputation. anyway back to the point of this story, this chap is the only rolex supplier in that forsaken place(and every single minute spent yearning for a rolex while am home, is also spent asking God to send us another rolex fella) but he still carries out some form of advertising if you can call it that. somewhere on his stand are the words(and number) ” kam hier to mustafa’s woteli 4 tha best chapati, sumbusa and of kos rolex meking for the nu millennium” No wonder he sucks at his job….and how did he even manage to spell millennium right!! but the one ad that has absolutely done it for me, was the one i saw on one of them long distance trucks driven by somalis. at the back, both sides and the front were the words “we accept rejected wives”. I died….totally!!
recently, two of my cousins were graduating and seeing as they are siblings, it was decided after much deliberation within their family, that they would have a joint grad party instead of two separate ones….don’t look at me like that… i wasn’t there during those deliberations. i just went for the food and drinks. anyway as is wont to be, the older generation was there en mass. these chaps kept stressing me and another cousin of mine to introduce our girlfriends to them and blah blah blah. we smiled our way out of the questions till we got dragged before our granny. soon as she asks the dreaded girlfriend question, my cousin tired of all the stress just blurts out “am gay!” cue dumbfounded looks all around!! on seeing the looks on their faces, he warms up to his now favorite subject and assures them if they continue to associate with him, they just might become liable to seven years in jail pending the outcome of the new (anti)gay bill debate. my phone has not stopped ringing from relatives dying to find out whether its true. at this rate am thinkin of diverting all my calls to his line, that way he shocks them some more by insisting it is true. and to think the man has a string of babes!!
in the just concluded Africa cup of Nations, two things happened that had be ROTFLMAO. one was when there was a closeup of the ref’s hind side during a game. dude had the biggest insect i have seen chilling on his bum. for real. it looked like it was on a chiller grazing on his bum and the commentators were merciless about it all, they couldn’t stop laughing.
the second thing was when i noticed that during the first 3 matches the fourth official was using wooden cardboards to indicate substitutions and time added on. however, during the fourth and fifth matches, am at home watching and i notice that they were using the electronic boards sanctioned by fifa. cue me texting some chap and asking him whether they just had no batteries to run the damn boards during the first 3 games or they were just saving up the little they had for further in the tournament. this was his reply “the rebels had taken the sh*t hostage”. according to him, the rebels having failed to get any hostages from the togo debacle, had decided to atleast take the electronic boards hostage and negotiate with the government.needless to say, i cried…from all the laughing!!!
after events of last night, i am totally and utterly depressed. can i just say that arsenal are fake, matter of fact, what i really want to say is that arsenal are @#$*&$@! and @#$*&$@! and @#$*&$@! and no, i don’t feel any better.
go away….am out!
