i was looking through my drafts and i came upon what i consider an important post and i will tell you why i consider it thus. see, it was the first post in a long time for which i had a title before i began writing it and i was in my zone till first DATANET and then UMEME sabotaged it. now everytime i look at it, i cannot for the love of me complete it. blame them two suckers. also i might have mistakenly deleted about 5 comments so lulu, joliea and the rest, my bad!!!
ok, now that that is outta the way, i still have to let you know that i absolutely do not know what this post will be titled but suffice to say, whatever title i come up with will probably not be connected to the post. i have not been this funny in a while….yes sleek am blowing my own trumpet, sue me!! how else am i supposed to get pips to read my blog :D. and just you know, this post will be written with a little imp that i have aptly named “imp” on my shoulder every time i even consider goin mushy on y’all.
first things first, well more like third things (can i say that?). people, jason and i are not one and the same. we might be in the same air band, play drums together, hang out together but we are totally different personalities 
heck, we aint even twins so Darlyne, Spartakuss, sleek and y’all just chill out. though i must admit all you guys have met him, unfortunately for you, you really never figure it out.
ok, imp has gone for a glass of water, so…just the other day, she (don’t ask who she is, she already knows who she is) was in this black dress. simple but very cute and stylish almost as if it was straight out of a magazine photo shoot. it made her look del…..cripes, imp let go of me. you know i got to do this, its the difference between one or two bottles of wine at the end of this month. gosh, i even forgot the word i was about to use to crown it off….i will remember!!!
lately, i have been seeing all these posters advertising music shows every single day of the week even on mondays. i actually think if it were possible, these chaps would add an extra 3 days to the week to accommodate all their shows. just when you are trying to save up for Fred Sebbata on Friday night, you hear that ssebale is going to do his thing on saturday night leaving you wondering why the heck you were never part of any CHOGM deal. just as you are getting the ssebale dimes, some radio station says they are doin an all nighter at nakivubo with all your favorite kadongo kamu artists, which means on monday morning you have to call into office and say you have food poisoning as if simply saying you have diarrhea is the most embarrassing thing in your life, forgetting you have just been at nakivubo. anyway the point of this story is to literally laugh at some of these artists’ names. these are just three of the names that i truly found hilarious, know any others??
ragga pimpin’- what kinda ragga is he pimpin??
dizzy nuts- i would hate to be the nuts in question!!
nutty nuts- i had no idea nuts could actually lose it and go nuts…literally!!
and while we are still with names, i know someone who knows someone who heard from someone that someone told them that another someone…oh crap, too many someones. confused? no worries, i also got confused by this someone chap who just seemed to be all over. but anyway one of the many someones’ family named a dog puppy. the first time i had the story, i died. puppy is now a big dog, but he’s still called puppy. its akin to naming yo new born child, baby. he grows up to be a man and he’s still called baby. they should have just named him dog (the dog not the baby, silly) which would then be like my uncle naming his son boy. true story. i have this cousin, older than i am and he is called boy. and he absolutely loves it. i actually grew up thinking his sister was known as girl coz in my warped mind if you were known as boy then definitely your sister just had to be known as girl, simple logic really.
yesterday i was having an argument with my cousin. she is a girl. now fellas you know you can never win an argument if its with a girl, however much you bring out all the hardest points, she will always have the last word even though she actually knows the points really are hard ones. anyway in the middle of this argument i was not feeling safe anymore coz of her actions. she was breathing real hard, her nose goin all out, pacing back and forth. reminded me of a girl i used to date. during an argument when she got mad, she would start pacing all over the place, breathing her nose out. but the one that really scared me was when she would start speaking in the third person. that was damn scary coz it was like her way of saying, from that point on, she wasn’t responsible for any of her actions.
last week, while looking for a pair of shoes to wear, i came across my very first pair of old skool converse. i had not wore them in over 6months and because i had no clean pair of socksies lying around, i was mighty glad when i found a somewhat clean looking pair inside the shoes. so off i was to work, in my old converse with a dodgy pair of socks feeling like i was the shiznit. i get to work and after a while decide to kick off the shoes. in the process, the left sock gets torn at the heel. i look at it in horror but decide that wont phase me, so i keep doin my thing. an hour or so later i feel a stray breeze hitting only my right toe and am wondering how it got to my supposedly socked toe. i look down only to see that my toe had escaped through a hole in my sock and was just enjoying the breeze like it had no worries in the whole damn world. i wanted to tell it “negro please, we got problems….that right there is a damn hole, which means we just cannot be visiting anyone today” and to think that i was supposed to meet someone at their house later that day, someone who always demands removal of shoes before entry to their house….
speaking of holes. the road home has finally succumbed and become ugandan. it was tarmacked about two years ago but recently it has began to get these small potholes all over it, really small or so i thought till last week. i had left work quite late and i bumped into my neighbor in town. seeing as it was late we decided to share a cab back home and yours truly decided he might as well catch up on some shut eye.
because am used to the terrain of the road even with my eyes closed, i can always tell where we are without looking but this time i was in for a shock. driving from town was a pretty smooth ride until we got to a point where the car seemed to go into a valley and then struggle to get out. my eyes were still closed but i was sure this was not the way home. for a split second i thought the driver was using another route and with all these kidnapping stories doing the rounds, i thought he was planning to sacrifice us to some god or even rape us. my eyes flew wide open and i began to look around in panic only to realise we were actually on the road home but we were just stuck in a pothole the size of a small valley, heck we had gone under and the guys coming from the front just could not see us.
oh, imp is out of the way now. says the post has taken long. which now reminds me of that black dress :). i must say though i still prefer the grey one. but anyway, i now remember the word. the dress made her look delectable and made me want to….oh crap, now what does my granny want.
gotta run, but i’ll leave you with the wise words of my granny. once while i was in the car with her, a cow stopped in the middle of the road, she turned to me and said, ” yo em, for you to make it in this world, you gotta act like a cow!!” i said, “huh, you mean like chew cud and just shit wherever i feel like?”
she laughed so hard, her back shifted at an angle and as a result she has had back problems since. see, she brought it on herself. so she said, “no em, look at that cow. it does not give a hoot (or would that be a mow) who owns the roads or the world. it is confident enough to just stand there and know nothing bad will happen to it. and none of us will move till it moves.” in other words, dont like act you own the world, act like you dont care who owns it and you will conquer it…i think!!
too many stories to tell, so little time….in the words of the governator, i’ll be back.
you know it makes no sense…am out!!
or maybe i could just say, money is tight, times are hard 
